hey family, let’s talk about a different kind of arena…
This is one of my favorite *Brené Brown quotes, but what does it have to do with our lives as artists and guardians?
Actually, a lot. The people we place around us strengthen or dilute our purpose. Their voices are either building us up or dissolving our courage. If you’re not sure which category they go in – building up or tearing down – that uncertainty is kind of its own confirmation. 🧐
(*If you’re not familiar with Brené’s work, she is a beautiful champion of vulnerability and courage. Check out more here)
A blueprint for healthy feedback
Receiving feedback + criticism + guidance are crucial elements of growth…
•As humans in connection with ourselves ♾
•As relationship-builders in connection to others🌀
•As artists creating and birthing art 🌱
Howeverrrr…. not everyone has feedback that serves our higher good. If someone wants to point out what we should be doing differently but are clearly not committed to their own work, that’s a red flag. 🚨
Open humans tend to be targeted by people who do more external than internal examination. If you’re a creator or nurturer, a giver, and someone who keeps their heart open, you can probably relate to the steady feedback stream.
I almost lost myself…
Spending my childhood on stages and in the public eye meant that I received more than my share of unsolicited advice. As a result, I extended too much time and energy making adjustments to meet the suggestions of others.
The revelatory voice I needed came from a holistic healer who pulled me aside after a show and expressed concern for the outward signs of distress she saw in me: she was convinced I had adrenal fatigue.
And I did, but it wasn’t from performing. It was from the never-ending barrage of people stopping me and telling me to rearrange myself. There was no part of me that didn’t get evaluated, and too many people had access to my willingness to listen and adapt.
After you’ve unraveled yourself to meet each assessment that declares your need to change, in the end, the only thing missing is you.
Instead of true humility, it’s actually self-betrayal to invite all voices in without them meeting your standard for expansion. They must prove themselves by their own ability to show up with humility and willingness to work; and at the core of it all, they need to have a shared set of values with you.
Who are your fellow arena companions?
I appreciate Brené’s arena metaphor. Plus, it’s not solely a metaphor for us as artists, it’s a reality. Healthy feedback feels like a collaboration, not a judgment.
•Who’s in your feedback circle?
•How, if at all, does that circle need to be edited?
•Are they also showing up for heavy lifting and true development or are there voices around you who need to be re-located or replaced?!
Having your teachable ear is an earned position. xx